The Sun

More than thirty years ago my mother left my childhood home to visit my family in California.  She inhaled the drier air and the sunshine of northern California.  It took quite awhile for her to absorb the fact that rain was not an issue during the dry season.  Each time we went on an outside excursion she would attempt to bring an umbrella or her rain coat.  I would promise her that there would be no rain.  There never was.  During her visit while on the daily walk with my mother she turned to me.

“As much as I wish you lived closer to us I hope you stay in California.”

“What you don’t want me to come home?  Ever? I responded

“No, come visit.  Stay for a long time, but this climate is the best for you.”

“What are you talking about?”  I was dumbfounded.

“Haven’t you noticed that your mood is light and you are happier more than you are depressed and unresponsive?”

I didn’t answer for the longest time.  I was too busy processing. My mother thought I was a depressed person?  Did she ever really understand  or comprehend that in a period of seven years our family moved  to Japan, to Washington DC, Japan again, Washington DC, to Cambridge MA, and to California.  We didn’t just move we hopped skipped and jumped from Asia to the USA and didn’t stop there…oh and we also had two children during that time!

“I don’t think it is the sun light Mom.  I think it is that we are settled here and don’t plan to move for quite awhile.  I think it is the stability.  There was a lot of pressure with all the bouncing around.”

My mother smiled as she always did. It was her way of saying you’ll see.

It’s been twenty some years since that conversation and a few homes filled with sunlight. Today I again remembered it as I stepped out to walk in the beautiful morning sun.   I have just  returned from a visit to Arizona and California. My current home does not allow for as much natural light as I have had in the past.  Prior to the trip I had been a bit of a sad sack. When I returned I was my bubbly self.   I am determined to sit or walk in direct natural light for a few hours each day.

Mothers are always right!



2 thoughts on “The Sun

  1. I laughed at the image of your mom with the umbrella always at hand – sounds like my grandmother.
    She really understood you. But isn’t it often the case that we don’t appreciate that understanding until some other point in life when we are ready for it?


  2. Sunlight or just seeing the sky does make a difference in my moods. Maybe that why I am so much more calm and happy, now that we’ve moved into my window-covered home. I enjoyed reading about you at the time of your life when Andrew was closer in age to his daughter and you were a younger mother. Thanks for sharing and enjoy your springtime walks!


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